He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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