Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
