just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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