Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
pray to the hookup gods
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
