The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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