I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
