I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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