whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
