Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
