Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
