I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
