Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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