I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I met the friendliest cop last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
