Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
