ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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