Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
