people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
