Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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