I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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