We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
