Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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