Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
