I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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