I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize