final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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