The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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