imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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