Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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