I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
