I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
