he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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