Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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