Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
