the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize