You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
