i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
