my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
