I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
