We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
