Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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