I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize