We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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