If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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