okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
