That's intense
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
