Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
