I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
