Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
