you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
