you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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