If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
