Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come on in and take your pants off
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